Weddings are a time to celebrate the love shared between two people. They are as much a celebration of the people you love as anything else. Everyone comes together to witness the union of two special people. When it comes to sending the invites, we’d love to let everyone come. But, when the times comes take these 6 people out of consideration before getting the invites out…
1. Plus Ones
We’ve all had that nightmare of attending a wedding alone and looking a fool, but let’s face it: more people means more room for drama – especially if you have no idea who the person is. Avoid giving the option for all guests to bring a plus one by removing the note from your invites. Let your close friends and family know (those of who you know the partners of) that they’re allowed, or – better yet – address the invite to the both of them. This will alleviate the risk of any unwanted drama that drunk strangers in an enclosed area can bring with them.
Don’t be the no ring, no bring kind of host, leave it open but be smart. By leaving the option to bring a plus one off of the invites, you give the guest the burden of having to ask for one which should in turn let the guest know that they ought to think hard about who they want to bring – if anyone! A few guests might even prefer to ride solo, and adding the choice to bring a plus one, they might feel a certain pressure to fill the space. We all know weddings take a huge amount of planning, and although it may feel as though the guest is now able to add to the guest list, the final decision is up to you at the end of the day. You can say no.
2. Returning Favours
We all have friends. Friends get married, that’s just what they like to do. But not every friend is a close friend, and just because someone invited you to their wedding, it does not mean they have to be invited to yours. Think hard about which friends you want to invite, if you’re going to look back at your wedding photos in five or ten years and wonder who half of the people in the pictures were then they didn’t really need to be in the pictures in the first place.
We’re not saying halt the invites on all friends who have already married. If you got to share their day, and they are still good friends then let them in! But, if an old friend married 4 years ago and you have since fallen out of touch (only to hear from them again now that you’re engaged) you are not obligated to invite them. Save the spots on the guest list for the people you’re really close with, those who have been there to support you and your partner from the get-go.
When It comes to your guest list, get ready to get asked awkward questions, get dirty looks and maybe even be the bad guy. In the end, you have to do what is best for you. It is your wedding day after all. And this goes for neighbours just as much as it would go for anyone.
Whether they are the kids you grew up living next-door to, or the elderly couple who used to babysit for you when you were young, if you don’t feel like having them there then they don’t need to be. We all have neighbours, they’re something you can’t escape in life, but when all you can think of about the potential invite is the over-the-fence smalltalk you share on a Saturday morning on your way back from the corner shop, then they don’t really need to be invited, do they?
4. Anyone With a Track Record
For any invitees on the margin still, consider what kind of guest they will be. Can they carry a table? Incredibly, most guests will not converse with anyone they don’t directly know. Every wedding has a ‘leftovers’ table, and this is usually where the estranged family friends end up, but do you really need to invite Uncle Bill who isn’t really your uncle and is notorious for slurring his words during large public gatherings?
There’s something about getting engaged that boosts your confidence, your prowess, and this is always evident upon your return to the office with a ring on your finger. Office politics state clearly that everyone will want to know every detail as and when they are available, but does that mean they deserve an invite?
Apply the ‘apart from’ rule to your colleagues.
“Apart from work, what else do we have in common?”
Unless the person you’re wanting to invite makes an effort outside of work to see you then there is no obligation to have them attend, and most of the time anyone you don’t converse with outside of work won’t mind that much. If the whole office was to attend, there’d be nothing to talk about the day after, and we all love a bit of workplace gossip, don’t we?
6. Anyone Who Isn’t Happy For Both of You
This is the most simple, so far but the most important for sure. If you or your partner know that someone won’t be as celebratory as the rest of your guests out of spite or bitterness, get them off that guest list ASAP!
And, for those very awkward invite declines, remember this. If you don’t feel as though the person being there won’t add anything special to the wedding, don’t bother with the hassle. If the person asks if they’re getting invited, you can always refer them to the fact that your budget doesn’t stretch far enough to accommodate them and apologise or simply leave them with the idea of having to confirm with your partner before getting back to them. They should take the hint, and if they do persist instead then perhaps that only cements the fact that they don’t deserve the invite.
To conclude… Don’t feel like you NEED to invite everyone. It’s your big day and ONLY you and your partner get to decide who to invite!
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