“I do”, these two words, when used together (in that order) in the context of married, is pretty significant. Saying those words takes courage and a strong belief in the person you are saying them to. People get excited when they get engaged to the one they love and eagerly wait to tie the knot. But only a few people actually know that there are certain milestones that they must cross as a test of their “marriage-ability”. Marriage is a very serious thing and it is important that you have all the important boxes checked before you say “I do”.
It is not a law that if you don’t pass all of these milestones, you shouldn’t get married. The fact is that there are challenges you would continue to face in marriage as a result. And these challenges could end up breaking your union. This would negatively impact not just you two but your children and family at large. Let’s take a look at some of the most important milestones every couple should pass before getting married.
1. Mind-Set about Money
Finance is the leading cause of breakups and divorce all over the world. This makes it the most important milestone to get pass before marriage. Issues of whether couples should open a joint account, whether he/she spends too much or saves, who bears what financial responsibility, long-term financial plans, etc. are among the financial bones of contention that has torn so many marriages apart. Before going ahead to tie the knot, be sure to first observe your partners attitude towards money. You should also take time to discuss extensively about your finances and get yourselves on the same page before going any further.
2. Being at Peace with Each Other’s Circle
Before you met your spouse, they had friends and family, didn’t they? Those people were a big part of their lives before you came along and will continue to be. And so you both must learn to be comfortable with each other’s family and friends. Otherwise it would be disastrous for one to bring the other to an event where family or friends would be present. A demonstration of genuine comfort or compatibility with each other’s circle is a sign that you two can be together.
3. Inquire About Spirituality and Philosophy
We all believe in something, regardless of what titles we wear. And we’d like for people to believe what we believe, or at least respect it. For a couple to get along well, they both need to be open about their spiritual (religious) beliefs and philosophy about life. Schisms would most likely occur when one party wants the kids to follow their beliefs above the other. Practices such as water baptism, circumcision, tribal markings, mode of dressing, and more, are usually governed by one’s beliefs and traditions. If you think you may not be able to cope, it is recommended that you do not continue into marriage.
4. Stay Strong Together Even After a Huge Disagreement
When two people from different backgrounds and whose beliefs, mindsets, and thought patterns differ, there are bound to be disagreements. And it can get really big. A relationship without fights or disagreement is most likely a very pretentious one. Staying strong together after a really big fight is a sign that you two will last long together. These fights may not end with one party totally agreeing with the other’s point of view. Sometimes, you both agree to disagree. Many married people have things they both do not agree on but that doesn’t mean they cannot stay together. Although you must be sure that your disagreement isn’t on the other person’s core belief or expectation.
5. Learn How the Other Handles Tough Situations
We humans like to think we are rational. And we are when things are going well. But turn up the heat, and all our rationality goes out the window. When fear, danger, stress, and confrontations hit your partner how do they react? Do they throw their hands in the air in despair or bury their heads in the sand and hope it passes? Do they step up to the challenge and handle it properly? Are they impulsive or thoughtful about making decisions under pressure? Tough situations reveal a side of people you may never get to see otherwise. This can be mostly observed when you are both on a trip together. You’d get a feel of how they handle delays or setbacks.