Weddings in Malta are… different. Nothing is simple and everything is taken to the extreme – it’s a statement on the island, leaving impressions on guests for many months to follow. But, with such a high expatriate rate, there’s bound to be a few guests who aren’t used to the whole shabang. Here are some tips to take note of to help you make it out of any Maltese wedding alive (barely) and kicking!
1. Don’t Forget Your Dress Etiquette:
Never wear a full ensemble in black or white, you’ll risk either looking like you fell into the ceremony after attending a nearby funeral or upstaging the bride.
Joosh up your mournful attire with statement pieces; like a funky brooch, bright shawl or complimentary belt. Men: define your look by either ditching the tie and baring chest, or wrap on a bold coloured tie. Should you choose to go down the bowtie route, make sure you know how to keep it on – nothing make a man look less prepared than a floppy collar.
2. Stop With the Small Talk:
Love may be in the air, but that is no excuse to dip your hands into everyone else’s private lives. While it may be hard to make conversation with a bunch of people you hardly know, avoid asking any couples when they’ll be making their trip down the aisle. They might never get there. Spare them the awkward roundabout answers, and spare yourself the conversation desperation. If you can’t think of anything to say, just sit put and sip your drink, nodding along to any other current conversing. Also, don’t ask singletons when they’re settling down. When are you going to?
3. Plan Ahead:
Parking is a pain in Malta, get used to it. And, it’s even worse when there’s a wedding in town, what with half the island conjugated into one area. How is everyone expected to park outside Villa Bologna? We should also mention, if you are driving, you can’t really make full use of the bar and that just doesn’t seem practical.
Buses are just as much of a hassle, and if you are restricted to public transport you’re usually stuck with having to fork out for a taxi at the end of the night anyway. Skip all of this by hiring a van. Pool together with any friends also going and the cost will drop dramatically. They’ll be able to pick up everyone up at one point and take them home (or to Paceville, which is usually the case for anyone still standing at that time).
4. Don’t Play Paparazzi:
If the wedding couple had wanted you to document their day, they’d have paid you instead of the photographer. While some couples encourage hashtagging their wedding, we don’t recommend plastering social media with as many pictures of the dress as possible. The same goes for #weddingselfies. We mean it. Stop.
5. Pace Yourself:
Almost every wedding in Malta will have an open bar policy. They are provided out of courtesy, not convenience. Show your gratitude by pacing your drinks across the night and making sure you’re sober enough to make it through every speech and slow dance. While the idea is to have a good time, don’t go overboard and venture into slurring word territory. Especially if you’re still hung up on small talk.
Just a few more hours of standing around eating cold canapés and cake before you and your friends are dancing off the drinks in Hugo’s. You can do this.
6. Be a Team Player:
By RSVPing, you agreed to be down with whatever celebrations the couple throw your way. They’ve been dreaming of this day for the longest time, playing along and facing all tasks with an accommodating attitude is vital to the couple’s enjoyment. All the couple wants is to give their friends and family a night to remember in celebration of their love.
And that’s how you maintain what little is left of your dignity at a wedding.
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